Pandemic Laughter

Winner, winner, chicken dinner

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Pictures from the Halloween party this weekend. I was a flapper, he did the mobster thing. I was tired, but we had a great time.

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My previous reblog

Wow, that brought up some emotions. Especially the current emotion of relief. I can’t explain well how it is to live in fear of the little things you do in life may set someone into an explosive rage. Things such as where I parked my car, where I was sitting in the living room, listening to my music out loud, having a friend show up unexpected to the house, any change of any plans ever (imagine this with kids and how their plans change along with how the basics of rearing kids isn’t very convenient…and add the fact I have been known to be a bit spontaneous myself, which never went over well). It wasn’t easy living as someone else’s stress relief or explosion magnet. I hated the holes in the walls through the house. I hate that I stayed long enough that this behavior was also learned.

As I look back I realize why I knew in my heart I would be happier alone than continuing in the same place. There were many other issues as well. Which of course made me really concerned as I was moving forward into another relationship. You know the fear that you may repeat old habits of dating similar people or people who may do similar things to you.

I was thinking yesterday of one of the main things I’m thankful for in my current relationship is how free I am to just be myself. I don’t walk in fear of how someone may react. There are no more eggshells to walk on. I know in my heart I couldn’t repeat that again. But how I can truly, truly be myself is amazing.

Now I am surprised some days how both of our pasts don’t cause more issues. I think it’s being free to be ourselves, open honest communication, truly caring about the other person, and of course the love there. As strange and new love being expressed to me, it’s been wonderful over the past ten months. (well almost ten months).

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Anonymous asked: What are the signs of emotional abuse?

monkeyfrog:

fegeleh:

the-goddamazon:

mental-health-advice:

Abusive Expectations - Makes impossible demands, requires constant attention, and constantly criticizes.

Aggressing - Name calling, accusing, blames, threatens or gives orders, and often disguised as a judgmental “I know best” or “helping” attitude.

Constant Chaos - Deliberately starts arguments with you or others. May treat you well in front of others, but changes when you’re alone.

Rejecting - Refusing to acknowledge a person’s value, worth or presence. Communicating that he or she is useless or inferior or devaluing his or her thoughts and feelings.

Denying - Denies personal needs (especially when need is greatest) with the intent of causing hurt or as punishment. Uses silent treatment as punishment. Denies certain events happened or things that were said. Denies your perceptions, memory and sanity by disallowing any viewpoints other than their own which causes self-doubt, confusion, and loss of self-esteem.

Degrading - Any behavior that diminishes the identity, worth or dignity of the person such as: name-calling, mocking, teasing, insulting, ridiculing,

Emotional Blackmail - Uses guilt, compassion, or fear to get what he or she wants.

Terrorizing - Inducing intense fear or terror in a person, by threats or coercion.

Invalidation - Attempts to distort your perception of the world by refusing to acknowledge your personal reality. Says that your emotions and perceptions aren’t real and shouldn’t be trusted.

Isolating - Reducing or restricting freedom and normal contact with others.

Corrupting - Convincing a person to accept and engage in illegal activities.

Exploiting - Using a person for advantage or profit.

Minimizing - A less extreme form of denial that trivializes something you’ve expressed as unimportant or inconsequential.

Unpredictable Responses - Gets angry and upset in a situation that would normally not warrant a response. You walk around on eggshells to avoid any unnecessary drama over innocent comments you make. Drastic mood swings and outbursts.

Gaslighting -A form of psychological abuse involving the manipulation of situations or events that cause a person to be confused or to doubt his perceptions and memories. Gaslighting causes victims to constantly second-guess themselves and wonder if they’re losing their minds.

Love, Salem

The last one is a killer and very important.

this is extremely important tw #abuse

Always reblob.

No longer walking on eggshells and being able to be completely me has been an amazing transition in my life.