Posts tagged TT

Another bad day yesterday, well at least bad experiences in the day….overall the day wasn’t bad, the day actually had some really great experiences as well. But the bad experiences really made an impact on things that I’ve been working on and I think the bad experiences have helped push me in a direction and open up some possibilities I have not been focusing on. I know, another vague TT. Vague TTs probably shouldn’t count as truthful Tuesdays.

Something learned over my past trip that really hit me harder than it should have. My friend was sitting there telling me how I needed to find my inner bitch and I was explaining that really wasn’t my thing. 

My brother showed up out of the blue and the conversation turned to the fits in the house I have had to deal with and my brother, who used to live with me sat there and said he could tell that the fits were being held back when he was there and I was like yes, they were—-the bigger fits are left just for me——and my friend sat there and said, it’s because you’ve allowed it to happen.   She’s like you have to stand up for yourself.  Your kids have to see you stand up for yourself as well.  She’s like you have girls and if they see you not standing up for yourself and it’s teaching them to act the same.  You also have a son and you are also teaching him. 

Oh, shit—-she hit that right where it hurt.  One of my arguments for other people in the house to control themselves was that the kids were learning what was acceptable behavior and there was no reason they ever needed to grow up thinking that they should ever be treated like that, nor that blowing up was acceptable behavior.  Because I rarely react back, I usually stay pretty calm, cool and collected.  I keep my mouth shut—-until a day later, then explain my point—not always nice about it I know, but I’m still calm during the blow up. Never did I think that me being able to keep calm was teaching my girls that it was ok to be treated that way.  

I know the last blow up I had mentioned this was the last I was taking and there would be changes to how things turned out during a blow up.  Now it’s to hold to this and to not let things happen as they have.  

That really hurt to figure out this late in the game. 

I usually have an on/off relationship with my snooze button, but sometimes it’s just all hit and miss.

I’m glad I have Google at my fingertips.  

This past weekend I was asked what was the glue that held my relationship together for 18+ years? Knowing bad stuff was there, because it is ending, so what was it that held it together for as long as it was?

I hadn’t ever thought of the question. I was actually stumped for a moment. My first answer was the fact that we moved around so much, when you are moving every couple of years, so much is focused on the move and making a new place, then getting up and going again.

The next thought that came to mind was kids, the kids also kept the focus off of anything else, especially for me attempting to be super Mom. (I gave up that cape awhile back, now I’m just Mom.)

That was all I could come up during dinner conversation, but I knew this couldn’t be the only things. The next few things I came up with much later were the facts that I wanted it to work, no matter what and he was lazy, meaning he wasn’t going to put effort in things outside of his current routine.

I think the another thing is that neither of us every had a problem with the other doing what they wanted to. So there were no jealousy issues….this definitely kept things with less problems, but also really provided grounds of us living like roommates/friends for such a huge portion of the marriage. But on the brighter side of this, is that this fact had made the transition of splitting a decent one overall in our household. I hate some of the past, but I’m glad we are both moving forward.

It was nice to know that people understand that there is/was a lot of bad, that’s why a relationship ends, but there it’s always more to the story than just the end.

And I haven’t done a truth to honor the day. And strangely not sure what I want to share.  Yeah, I know. 

I did have a couple of moments to share from the day.  I was getting my stuff together as I was getting ready for school.  I was taking some salt with me to gargle with, since I’m still healing up from the tonsillitis and my oldest saw me pouring salt into a baggie and the first thing out of her mouth was, “Can I take some salt with me too?  To protect me from the demons of course.”  Then immediately she admitted that she’s had an overdose of Supernatural lately. 

And sound advice:

I’m sitting studying and hating every minute of it.  A fellow student comes in and I ask how her studies have been going.  And she’s in the same boat as me, just not fond of the material, but hanging in there.  I ask her if she has any study hints that she’s found useful.  She turns to me and says, “All I can remember is——-LOOK UP AT THE VAGINA.”  I’m sure Tumblr did not need to be reminded of that advice, but thought you might enjoy regardless.

Still no official truth, wait, I can squeeze a truth in here——my pants are too damn big and I think I walked around a decent amount of the day with my fly down in my oversized pants.  Yay me!  Classy as fuck. 

Running out of time for tumblring again. And that’s a weak truth to share.

I think the most strange thing is how much I have not shared on my blog of recent. Part of me wonders if it’s my lack of time or just keeping to myself?

Also, thank you to each of you who have continued to reach out to me. I’ve been busier lately, things have been going decent overall.

Every time I see or hear the word kegels, I automatically start doing them.      Didn’t realize how many times the word kegel would pop up during OB.  

I would not make a good traffic cop with my extra short, wee, little arms.